The Story
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On Olivia's 26th birthday last month, she noticed bleeding in her breast. Days later, Doctors confirmed she had 87% of her breast tissue consumed in late stage Breast Cancer. The only solution is a full double mastectomy, happening next wednesday 8/5. She will be immobile for a month recovering.
Olivia and I met ballroom dancing at age 7 and never parted our silly ways. She's gone on to be one of the most talented dancers I know, making the top 30 of " So You Think You Can Dance", she was a 49'ers cheerleader, and has performed alongside artists such as Madonna, JLO, & Flo Rida just to name a few. But more than that, she's a hustler with a work ethic second to none. And yet, in the midst of all her projects she's a dedicated daughter, sister, and fiercely loyal friend. Her heart, her compassion, and her light know no bounds. Lets help her feel whole and contribute to this fund. She won't be able to work for a month or dance for at least 8 months so everyday expenses will need to be covered. Give whatever you can and know that Olivia would do the same for you. -Vicki Rokhlin |
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Update # 2Friends! Olivia is BLOWN AWAY by the support. In less than 24 hours, your love has raised $10K. I've revised the goal to be $30K as Olivia will need reconstructive surgery on her breasts, a long and painful 6 month process that will culminate in breast augmentation surgery in December to restore herself. She will then need time to recover from that surgery. Every penny of this fund, will help Olivia just focus on her HEALTH without worrying about not being able to work. You guys are angels on earth - thank YOU! Lets get $30K!
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Update # 4
Devastating news from Olivia this AM:
Last Thursday I went in for my first follow up apt with the doctors at Columbia. I assumed the pathology report would come back fine. I mean removing both breasts pretty much insured that... at least in my mind. The good news: my lymph nodes had not been effected and I was healing surprisingly well. The cancer that had been originally dispersed through 90% of my breast tissue had all been taken out and removed successfully. However a new discovery was made post surgery. They found a tumor on the right side the size of a penny that turned out to be invasive. The bad news: they began to explain that I would need to go on a treatment plan for the next 10yrs. Fortunately there are medicines that cut the reoccurrence rate in half if taken properly and monitored. As with any drug though, there are side effects such as: possible uterine cancer, blood clots, and decreased fertility. Suddenly I'm being given numbers of egg freezing specialist... If that wasn't enough for one day, I'm being asked to do yet again more testing. The "C" word is back on the table now. Yes...Chemotherapy. My results will be determined in about 2 weeks. Truthfully I have made peace with whatever is necessary to preserve my life. I'm just a little bummed at the thought of losing my crazy blonde lion mane. Whatever the outcome may be I will go with my head high. And when it gets hard to breathe I just look beside me to remember I'm never really walking alone. |
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Update # 5
TGIF!!!
Just wanted to start my morning with a moment of gratitude. It's the beginning of a new day and I'm so aware of all the infinite blessings that surround me. The light, colors, sounds, and sunshine are all smiling at me on my daily trek to the doctor's office. More than anything though I want to acknowledge all of YOU who have gotten me through these trying weeks. I am more aware than ever of what love looks like/feels like. It comes in so many different forms but all flows to the same ocean which has kept me floating with my head above water. From the bottom of my heart...thank you for your time, support, and generous donations. I would like to send you all something so please email me your name and home address at oliviadance1@yahoo.com |
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Update # 6
Sometimes poetry comes to me easier than standard writing so here's the latest folks!
When I am alone you see It all swells up inside of me Pieces flying like debris There's NO PEACE in sight to see Weight is pulling to my feet Tears roll down I hit my knees Broken doesn't mean I'm beat But here and now I taste defeat I spit it out No time for weak Lately my glass has a leak A life this hard ain't for the meek So I just laugh as I bleed My heart beats fast before I speak Words just sound like words to me The girl that I used to be Now has a new identity If she's hiding Can you seek? The spots of light behind the grief Dying to live and just be free Chemo won't get the best of me!!! Yours truly, Olivia |
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Update # 7Good Morning New York!!! It is with great pleasure I write you all from the other side of my computer with a lovely cup of pumpkin coffee and jazz music in the background :) Sunday is important because it’s a day of reflection. Each morning I open my eyes and suddenly it is hard to breathe. I am overwhelmed by the daily to do list. (i.e. doctor’s visits, continued testing, outstanding medical bills, trying to make it to class, return the never ending list of emails/phone calls, and still manage to make some time to sing/dance/write/have fun and tell my people... I LOVE YOU!!!
I continue to hear “how strong I am” but the truth of the matter is, no soldier stands a chance without his/her army. The last 3 months have been a total blur yet there is such clarity when it comes to who matters. Who matters are the ones who have shown up and continue to show up. At 26 years old I could recount my resume, the cities I’ve lived in, the artists I’ve performed with, the establishments I’ve worked for, or the networks I’ve been featured on. At 26 years old I could tell you I survived cancer, had a double-mastectomy, am freezing my eggs tomorrow, facing chemo in a month, and a 10 year treatment plan after that. At 26 years old I could tell you all the things I still dream of and WILL do. But the only thing I actually want to tell you is to BE LOVE, BREATHE LOVE, SPREAD LOVE, and THROUGH LOVE we all have a chance of surviving this CRAZY, BROKEN, BEAUTIFUL thing called LIFE!!! |
Update # 8It has been about 2 weeks since I did my last update. I figured now would be as good a time as any to post. I spent my entire day at Columbia on what is called the "chemo floor"...otherwise known as floor 14. The moment the elevators opened my body shut down. I felt like I could collapse at the pure sight of what was before me. Row after row of much older women who all appeared to be very sick, bald, and/or in wigs. The air was cold and the halls were quiet. I was a long way from rhinestones and music.
I put my big black sunglasses on, bowed my head, and prayed for strength. The longer I sat there the more my thoughts began to dance around in my head. I felt scared, weak, nauseous, achy, and unsure of what to expect in the hours/days/ and months to come. I am currently 1 week away from starting treatment and 24hrs away from my "Pretty in Pink" party. Easy to see how one could be feeling conflicted. What I do know is how much I admire theses women. I found hope and strength from witnessing a day in their lives and for that I am grateful. Therefor I have dedicated my #WCW to Floor 14. Much love Olivia |
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Update # 9Floor 14…
#WCW Shout Out to the ROCKSTARS the BRAVE SOULS and the REBELS To the women rockin bald heads Ya’ll deserve a medal As I sat on Floor 14 today watching every patient The tears kept rolling down my face Not sure if I could take it To the women who are smiling and holding it together You are my new heros Couldn’t think of someone better Behind those silky scarves and behind the wigs you buy I see a room of suited soldiers as I look into your eyes Shout Out to the ROCKSTARS the BRAVE SOULS and the REBELS May the loved ones that we know Never have to face this level For the road is long and hard and the path is just our own Thank you to my God For never leaving me alone |
Update # 10'Twas the night before Chemo,
when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; Anxious in bed with nausea and doubt The princess kept saying "No tears are allowed!!!" For what would it change? Would it make my fear rest? Would it undo 12 weeks of IVs and tests? Would it lighten my load or undo my stress? Would it make my hair stay? Or bring back my breasts? 'Twas the night before Chemo, so I just crawled in bed I silenced my thoughts and then bowed my head Just try to relax as the old saying goes For nothing is really under control #reflection #prayer #chemo #fcancer #icandoallthingsthroughchrist #survivor #breastcancer #breastcancerawareness #bca #onedayatatime #LivStrong |
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Update # 118:03AM & I'm sitting here with writer's block. For those of you who know me, you know this doesn't happen very often. My hands are shaking as I grip onto this glass of "relaxing "Jasmine Green tea. Guess it hasn't kicked in yet & I could use something a little stronger right about now… cough LOL.
It has been 3wks since my last update which means ding ding ding... It's time for Round 2 of Chemo. I kinda of think it sounds like Choreo!!! Well at least that's what I'm sticking to for now. It just sounds so much better that way and I feel like it's just another day of getting through a challenging routine. I have learned so much these last 4mo. From the time of my initial dx. Undergoing a vicious double mastectomy, carrying/removing drains, taking daily injections, freezing my eggs, countless tests/doctor visits/pills, chemotherapy, and most recently losing my hair has been a handful to say the least. What I realize more than ever though is the POWER of the HUMAN SPIRIT!!! The mind & soul are far more divine than the body alone. The grace that emanates from these sources is a miracle from the higher levels of the universe who I humbly refer to as GOD. It is through Him that I have been able to conquer my daily fears & see the light come pouring through like a deluge. To my family, friends, neighbors, & even perfect strangers I thank you. When you tell me how strong I am, I simply reply with one statement alone. I am solely a reflection of the LOVE and SUPPORT I have received. |
Update # 12CHEMO #3...December 9, 2015...3:04 AM
Good night Good night Turn out the light But oh wait 1st Let's spark it right My mind will fight Just not tonight The body's weak So careful life I write, I write to get it RIGHT I think I’m on to higher Heights Maybe eyes will take a flight to Cherry Blossom Dreams in sight I’d fly away like I’m a kite Before I lay I pray with might Because the day of CHEMO bites It’s #3 of 4 So I… Will make it through #LivStrong Aight!!! |
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Update # 13Good Morning World!!! I'm so excited to share my story with you. I put this documentary together over the last couple months with Isabel Caroline and it's finally here. Please watch and share so we can help build awareness together. #earlydetectionsaveslives #mystory #livstrong https://youtu.be/JywQ8qEvQo4 |
Update # 14As I lay here in bed hours after waking up, I find myself crippled & unable to move from under my covers. 1:20PM I finally pull out my computer and slowly try to unpack the flood of emotions that fill my heart onto this blank page. After 6 months of barbaric warfare against my body and mind I suddenly realize the storm may be passing in the weeks to come. Warm salty tears flow down my puffy steroid infused cheeks at the idea of tomorrow being my final round of chemotherapy.
Yesterday I stood in Time Square humbled as my documentary played on the Nasdaq screen. I was alongside other Breast Cancer Survivors and the founder of 5 Under 40, Jennifer Finkelstein. She spoke out passionately saying “we are more than just a statistic!” It was in that moment I felt a surge of energy and unity rush through me. As I looked around at the other women who have also fought or who are currently fighting, I realized there was a power and sisterhood that lit up 42nd St. on an early Monday morning. These women are soldiers in addition to being girlfriends, wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and business professionals. They all stood there clothed in fearlessness with a smile on their face. It was once stated, “everybody dies but not everybody lives”. Well I would like to thank God and these brave souls for teaching me how to live. The emotional rollercoaster and spiritual journey that I have been on in the last few months has been profound. But it is reassuring to know, we are never truly alone. |
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Update #15
This morning I awoke with water in my eyes Full of gratitude the war is over inside Yesterday’s surgery made me realize That having a healthy body is the ultimate prize Still wrapped in bandages but the cancer has died And I’ve never been more sure that LOVE is ALIVE They could fill an ocean with the tears that I’ve cried But I would learn to swim after a headfirst dive Never knew my own strength or how hard I could fight I made it through the storm with a faith burning bright Lost some people on the way who couldn’t bear the sight And yet some surprised me Who came back day and night Nothing is too broken to find its way back to the light Thank you to the souls who’ve touched my heart and touched my life |
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Update #16
I am NOT my Hair I'm not what I wear Clothed in scars and smiles Come close if you dare Please handle with care because this package is so rare When they see her walking they all stop and stare A spirit you should fear because I am still here got me screaming out Liv Strong like the anthem of the year!!! Listen to the cheer I feel my time is near Shout out to the good souls who helped wipe every tear Signed yours truly, From a heart that's so sincere #latepost #cancersucks #survivor #poet #LivStrong |
Update #17
Today is Thursday October 13, 2016. The time is 8:57AM. I sit here quietly before my computer in front of an old sun filled glass window in a cozy Georgia home. I find myself clear, calm, collected, and focused for the first time in a long time. As I slowly sip my coffee, (the way my Greek friends taught me :) I can’t help but to contemplate the end of my trip and beginning of my life.
October is an interesting month on a lot of levels. It is considered the second month of Fall and the beginning of manifestation. The air becomes crisp and cool, the smell of cinnamon swirls through the streets, the leaves begin to change into bright vibrant colors of golden yellow, apple red, and copper orange. You can feel the world around you begin to change in an instant.
October was also my Grandma Nina’s favorite time of year, which makes me smile on a sentimental level :) She was one strong lady!!! I must admit, I am personally not a fan of cold weather but this particular month has grown on me, especially living in New York City.
Getting to experience the beauty of Central Park, childlike fun of pumpkin picking upstate, and adult costume parties downtown has all enhanced my appreciation for change in seasons. Above all though... I now pause in October to salute my fellow Breast Cancer Sisters.
As I sat from the top of the rocky mountains in Positano overlooking the most breathtaking views of my life, got skylifeted over the charming city of Capri, walked through the historical ruins of Rome, danced beneath the Colosseum, skipped up the Spanish steps, sailed the seas of Athens, bathed in the Mediterranean salt, tasted every wine and cheese, stopped counting carbs, indulged in pasta and gelato, embraced conversations with strangers, remembered to breathe, allowed myself to laugh and cry, and finally attempt to get home with a bus, ferry, and train...I must say it has been the adventure of a lifetime and a long way from where I was this time last year.
The funny thing about leaving is that you always run into yourself again. Sometimes we need to create some distance though so we can regain perspective. My lens on life has shifted dramatically. It’s like for the first time ever I know what matters...what actually really matters.
A while back a very dear friend of mine told me to write a letter to my future self in 10 years. At the time I was not ready to do this because I had no clue what I wanted to do or be ten years from now. Especially considering the fact that this time last year, my entire world was upside down. Today I am ready…
I simply want to be a reflection of all the things I thought would break me and did NOT. I want to be a vessel of expression, inspiration, and hope. I want to write, speak, sing, make music, educate people, spark the minds of the youth, and be a blessing to others. But most of all... I want to love and I want to be loved. Cheers to the Autumn Leaves...I’m ready for a new season!!!
Yours Truly...See ya in 10 years
Love,
Olivia
Today is Thursday October 13, 2016. The time is 8:57AM. I sit here quietly before my computer in front of an old sun filled glass window in a cozy Georgia home. I find myself clear, calm, collected, and focused for the first time in a long time. As I slowly sip my coffee, (the way my Greek friends taught me :) I can’t help but to contemplate the end of my trip and beginning of my life.
October is an interesting month on a lot of levels. It is considered the second month of Fall and the beginning of manifestation. The air becomes crisp and cool, the smell of cinnamon swirls through the streets, the leaves begin to change into bright vibrant colors of golden yellow, apple red, and copper orange. You can feel the world around you begin to change in an instant.
October was also my Grandma Nina’s favorite time of year, which makes me smile on a sentimental level :) She was one strong lady!!! I must admit, I am personally not a fan of cold weather but this particular month has grown on me, especially living in New York City.
Getting to experience the beauty of Central Park, childlike fun of pumpkin picking upstate, and adult costume parties downtown has all enhanced my appreciation for change in seasons. Above all though... I now pause in October to salute my fellow Breast Cancer Sisters.
As I sat from the top of the rocky mountains in Positano overlooking the most breathtaking views of my life, got skylifeted over the charming city of Capri, walked through the historical ruins of Rome, danced beneath the Colosseum, skipped up the Spanish steps, sailed the seas of Athens, bathed in the Mediterranean salt, tasted every wine and cheese, stopped counting carbs, indulged in pasta and gelato, embraced conversations with strangers, remembered to breathe, allowed myself to laugh and cry, and finally attempt to get home with a bus, ferry, and train...I must say it has been the adventure of a lifetime and a long way from where I was this time last year.
The funny thing about leaving is that you always run into yourself again. Sometimes we need to create some distance though so we can regain perspective. My lens on life has shifted dramatically. It’s like for the first time ever I know what matters...what actually really matters.
A while back a very dear friend of mine told me to write a letter to my future self in 10 years. At the time I was not ready to do this because I had no clue what I wanted to do or be ten years from now. Especially considering the fact that this time last year, my entire world was upside down. Today I am ready…
I simply want to be a reflection of all the things I thought would break me and did NOT. I want to be a vessel of expression, inspiration, and hope. I want to write, speak, sing, make music, educate people, spark the minds of the youth, and be a blessing to others. But most of all... I want to love and I want to be loved. Cheers to the Autumn Leaves...I’m ready for a new season!!!
Yours Truly...See ya in 10 years
Love,
Olivia