I Like

Dear World,

It's been a while… I have not spoken lately because I didn't want to hear the echo of my own words. As someone who prides themselves on being optimistic, it is strange to hear defeat knock. I would be lying though if I did not acknowledge the pain that recently snuck in through the side windows and back door.

I suppose pain is 1 of the greatest motivating forces in the universe. It pushes us to points we did not know existed and reminds us of how strong or weak we ultimately choose to be. Tonight I write you from my most honest and vulnerable state. Behind the blonde curls, big smile, and bubbly personality is just a girl who needs a long hug and good cry.

I watched my body and world crumble before my eyes in less than 9 months. In fact, I managed to get through 3 surgeries (as of Wednesday), 4 rounds of chemo, and having my head shaved on the Nasdaq Billboard in Times Square. By the way, that was in between graduating college, preparing dance shows for Lincoln Center and ABC news broadcasters, recording 2 documentaries, and finishing a poetry book. Not to mention experiencing some of the most awkward dating experiences of my life!!!

You think when you’re “CANCER FREE” it’s over but actually it’s just the beginning. It is like re-learning everything for the first time again. There is no fear because once you realize you didn’t die, you’re actually able to live. Each day I face a new set of challenges... mostly facing myself.

What I can tell you though is this:

I like a life without rules
I like people who are real
I like speaking of my dreams
I like music that heals
I like food that is warm
I like dancing in the rain
I like wine that is chilled
I like forgetting my pain
I like the laugh of a child
I like learning what I don't know
I like my heart young
I like my old soul
I like that I still love
I like who I could be
I like who I’m becoming
I like that I am free

#thinkingoutloud #poet #fcancer #LivStrong

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